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Local Coffee Shop Introduces 'Nostalgia Surcharge' for Anyone Mentioning How Cheap Coffee Used to Be

"It's our most profitable initiative since adding oat milk," reports owner Elena Kowalski of Third Wave Roasters, who implemented the policy after calculating that her staff collectively spent 17 hours per week listening to customers reminisce about 50-cent coffee. The surcharge, which automatically adds $1.75 to any order accompanied by phrases like "back in my day" or "highway robbery," has generated enough revenue to fund the shop's new "Contemporary Pricing Experience Room," where customers can view interactive displays explaining inflation, commercial rent costs, and fair trade practices. "We tried putting up signs showing historical coffee prices adjusted for inflation, but people just used them as conversation starters for longer nostalgic monologues," explained barista Jay Miller, who now wears a button reading "Yes, I know coffee used to be cheaper. That will be an additional $1.75." The shop plans to expand the initiative with additional fees for comparing their pastries to "what grandma used to make" and sighing audibly while looking at the menu.